01 September 2011

September 1st in Boston

Our new downstairs neighbor moved in today. She is pretty young. I found myself wanting to give her motherly advice about how to change lanes around here, but she's from CT so I doubt she needs help.

This is for those of you who live in kindler, gentler areas of the world, who might one day wish to come leaf-peeping and be foolhardy enough to try to drive yourself.

How To Change Lanes in Massachusetts Traffic:
1. Swerve without warning in the direction that you want to go in, then quickly swerve back.
2. Now that you have the attention of every car in the near vicinity, put on your blinker.
3. Swerve into your destination lane. If you've timed it right, you will have frightened the driver behind you so badly that they slammed on the brakes and left you plenty of room to coast into their lane.

You can get across several lanes of traffic quite quickly in this way, although be warned that passengers sometimes object to the car's rapid darting movements, and are vocal about it. Ignore them.

Note: do not, by any means, turn on your blinker in advance of the first swerve. This only warns other drivers of your intentions and they will speed up and sit right in your blind spot. Thus you lose face, and the other drivers swoop in to prey upon your weakness.

1 comment:

Katharine Weber said...

Excellent advice, and it's essential to master this skill or you will find yourself setting out for a simple errand and the next thing you know, if things don't go your way, you are inexplicably on the highway to New hampshire.